Evil Evil Donuts

"Would you like some cake donuts? They're four for a dollar."

It was all I could do to not grab the clerk and choke her and scream, "Do you not know I am not eating that crap!"

Instead I politely declined and paid for my gas.

When I left I decided to get my gas at the station across the street from now on. It didn't have pizza by the slice, egg rolls and donuts for sale.

Convienence foods are difficult to pass up, especially when you are craving something.
What do you do when you want something so bad and it is all you can do to not buy it to satisfy that craving?

I usually talk myself out of it. I tell myself that I didn't lose 25 pounds by caving into the craving. Sometimes that doesn't always work so then I buy an apple or a banana and eat that.

When that doesn't work, I have to give into it.

If I don't the craving becomes really ugly and then I binge.

When that happens I feel so horrible and guilty to do that to myself.

It sucks.

The trick is to not let it go that far. I recognize the signs and give that craving enough to shut it up before it becomes an uncontrollable monster.

I can only do the best I can and accept the fact that I am going to have bad days. I shouldn't be too hard on myself, after all I am doing this all for my own health. It isn't for anyone else but me. I have to love myelf for who I am and take care of me to the best of my ability.

But I am still passing on the cake donuts.

Sometimes Calgon Just Ain't Enough

Recognizing the reasons we eat unhealthy things is a big step.

My biggest trigger is stress and/or depression.

Today was stressful; not just a small amount but stress of colossal proportions. I woke up thinking it was Friday when in fact it was actually Thursday. I didn't realize this until midway through the morning after three phone calls about a faulty program took place. I couldn't fix what needed to be fixed and in the mean time, I was pulled in several different directions all at once. Then to top it off, after two hours of trying to burn a DVD I was told that my computer wasn't capable of doing the task.I got up and when to the kitchen and opened the fridge, opened the candy drawers, the chip cupboard and walked out. I didn't take anything. I couldn't. I've been doing so well, I just couldn't let stress win today's battle. Instead I walked out of the kitchen and walked around the building.

I won that battle.

But the day wasn't over...

Later in the evening I had parent/teacher conferences with my daughter's teacher which meant I was meeting her father there. I don't know why but he stresses me out just by looking at him. Well, ok, I know why he stresses me out. We all have those kind of exes. I felt like throwing up when he was checking me out. I just feel that he has no right to do that but that's a whole other topic for a whole other blog.

So I am sitting there, trying to concentrate on what the teacher is telling me and my stress level climbs. I realized that I didn't eat since noon and I started to go into "I need crap to eat" mode.
I knew I wasn't going to be able to walk my stress off later, nor was I able to punch or kick something.

I just had to deal with it.

As I was sitting there I decided that I was going to go home and cook myself some eggs and wheat toast and just chill for a few to get back to a normal level of sanity.

It just seemed to take forever to get home.

When I got home I calmly made my eggs as my daughter nattered on about this and that. I felt bad about tuning her out but if I didn't find some sense of zen, I would totally be downing that gallon of ice cream that the kids begged me for. (damn kids)I did some light stretching and meditating to help offset the urge to eat crap.

It was tough.

But I won battle number two of the day...

I also drank a ton of water and sought for oceans of inner peace.

I think once we recognize what causes us to seek comfort food we can develop skills in avoiding temptation. Temptation will always be there whether it be sugary crap or crap that is high in fat, as long as Walmart is open 24 hours, we will be able to get our fix. We just need to substitute those cravings for comfort food with something else. It may be exercise, or calling a friend, meditation or anything else, just make it something other than eating.