Pain is Just Weakness Leaving the Body

No pain no gain…..blah blah blah.

It gets hard to work your body when pain is involved. I struggle with recovery from an injury over a year and a half ago. I find myself wishing I was back to normal.

I could use my broken knee as an excuse to cut back or to stay sitting on the couch, but I don’t. I continue to work through the pain. My end goal is more important.

My mom expressed concern over the fact that I may injure my knee again. With four screws holding Humpty together, it is understandable. I think she worries about it being weak or if I take one wrong step I could twist it. I try not to think of that and am just aware of where I step and how I step and so on. I have a brace. After working it, I ice it and take ibuprofen.

Sometimes it takes me a bit to work up the courage to go out and walk the 3-5 miles. I know that afterwards it hurts. I hate that part. I hate it so much that I often think to myself that I don’t want to go out and do it. But I then make myself do it.

I have to.

Because I want the end result.

Blah

Some days are harder than others….even when you do everything right. You eat right, exercise, sleep enough, drink enough water, blah blah blah.

But it’s hard.

You look in the mirror and it mocks you. You don’t see the healthy person you are becoming.
Least that’s what happened to me this morning.

Some days are just hard.

I woke up feeling blah and looked in the mirror and just felt ugly and fat. It happens.

I just try to grin and bear it. The feeling passes.

But it’s still hard.

When you live so long feeling one way and then try to change how you feel about yourself it doesn’t always happen all the time.

I still love me. I still take care of me.

There are just those oh so not feeling it moments.

Today was one of those moments….

Even with eating all the right things and walking/jogging over five miles, I wasn’t feeling good about myself at all. It’s understandable to be frustrated but I keep telling myself that Rome wasn’t built in a day. Sometimes I wish it was so I could just go “HA!” but it wasn’t. It takes hard work and time.

But it’s hard.

*sigh*

Motivation

I am often asked what motivates me. What gives me that drive to want to do it?

The mirror.

Thank about it, if you don’t like what you see, you can change it, only you. If you don’t like the way you look, do something about it. Eating more chips or cookies isn’t going to improve your reflection.

Study yourself hard, have a conversation with yourself and tell yourself that the only person in control is the one staring back.

It can be a very difficult conversation. You may have to have it many times.
But have it as often as it takes.

I have stood in front of the mirror thinking, “Oh God, I don’t like what I see” and then just walked away and grabbed a bag of chips and sat on the couch and watched mindless television. It was kind of like a pity party for one.

Pathetic…

One day I was coming down the stairs and stopped when I could see most of my body in the mirror and decided it was finally time to take care of myself. If I truly loved me, I would prove it.

Now the mirror has a different kind of motivation.

Well, the same reflection but somehow it is different. I am starting to see results; flatter stomach, thinner thighs, and slimmer face. The motivation is now turning into wanting to see more results. The reward of the effort is the change in the mirror.

Reality Check

Weight loss to date: 14.8 pounds

Down 4.56%

84.4 pounds to go

Don’t Need No Stinkin Gym

Gyms are expensive and sometimes inefficient. I used to pay $40 a month for my gym. Forty dollars is a lot of money for something you don’t really end up using.

I mean I did use it and it was working for me but then I lost my motivation to go. The gym was in the same town where I worked which only allowed me to use it during the lunch hour. I live 30 miles away which made doing it after work quite difficult since I had to come home and feed the kids.



When I was able to use it, I would use the weight machines and ride a bike. I’d get all sweaty and then change back into my work clothes. It was just gross.



So I cancelled my membership.



Actually, you really don’t need a gym to exercise. Basic walking is a good start, a very good start. I beats the heck out of sitting on the couch and watching mindless television.
Get out there and move.



I also incorporated toning. I do it right on my living room floor. I also have some belly dancing videos that help work the core muscles. Just stretching your muscles can work wonders.



You don’t need to go to a gym, you just need to get up off the couch and move.

So it begins again

I used to blame my weight on other factors such as stress, no will power, my knee, my back, my inability to get my ass off the couch. Well, you get the picture.

I need some motivation. I need to find it within myself to get back to a healthy way of living. I just need to not feel bad about myself everytime I look in the mirror.

I did lose weight once before just after my divorce. I dropped about 65 pounds like it was nothing. I was feeling good and looking good. Everyone complimented me...

Then it happened.

I fell off a ladder and broke my knee pretty bad. I couldn't walk. I hit a brick wall.

That was a year ago.

Since then I put 40 pounds back on. 40! ugh.....

So now I have my work cut out for me.

And so it begins.....

again.